When the sad breaks in

Looking at her little jewellery box that sits on the bathroom counter I decide to open it, as I have many times before. Maybe something different will pop out at me this time. Something I've never seen, some deeper glimpse into the essence of who she was when she breathed air with me. The things …

Thinking of You

I miss your laughter,The way your voice sounded when you said 'Mom' .All the funny little jokes. Your love for simple gentle things. Link, Isabelle, Doctor Who, Nutella and TeaWatching you with your brothers. All of them.So many things remind me of you. Autumn. Girls with bright hair walking down the street. The sound of …

Four Years

Some people look at New Year's to gauge their progress or reflect upon the year. And upon life in general. For me it's October 7th. It's how I mark the time I guess. Not intentionally. But it is the day that altered my life profoundly. Before she died. After she died. It has become a …

The season of return

Caitlin ~ fall is in the air. The days are growing shorter and the nights cooler. We have so many sunflowers in the yard. I can't even count them. Looking at them I think of you, and your love of autumn. In less than two months it will be 4 years since you passed. Autumn …

So… 2020, a year of learning?

I think that if my daughter hadn't died, maybe this pandemic would have had a bigger impact. But once your child dies, there isn't really anything else that can top that. Everything else is slightly sepia. Every once in a while I look at my life, where I am now and I grieve. There is …