Thinking of You

I miss your laughter,The way your voice sounded when you said 'Mom' .All the funny little jokes. Your love for simple gentle things. Link, Isabelle, Doctor Who, Nutella and TeaWatching you with your brothers. All of them.So many things remind me of you. Autumn. Girls with bright hair walking down the street. The sound of …

Four Years

Some people look at New Year's to gauge their progress or reflect upon the year. And upon life in general. For me it's October 7th. It's how I mark the time I guess. Not intentionally. But it is the day that altered my life profoundly. Before she died. After she died. It has become a …

The season of return

Caitlin ~ fall is in the air. The days are growing shorter and the nights cooler. We have so many sunflowers in the yard. I can't even count them. Looking at them I think of you, and your love of autumn. In less than two months it will be 4 years since you passed. Autumn …

So… 2020, a year of learning?

I think that if my daughter hadn't died, maybe this pandemic would have had a bigger impact. But once your child dies, there isn't really anything else that can top that. Everything else is slightly sepia. Every once in a while I look at my life, where I am now and I grieve. There is …

Little Joys and Gentle Interactions While Loss is Nestled Firmly

So, I was doing morning prayers - albeit a bit late but I got started at just a tick or two before noon so -- close enough. (slept in after being up late playing a new game that caught my attention) . I have been trying to keep to the offices of the day as …